Then comes dinner because nobody goes out and doesn't eat — another $30-45 for something you could've made at home for $8. But ok you're at a restaurant so now you're $65 deep and it's only 8pm. The show starts at 9pm so that's another $30-50 on tickets. By midnight you've dropped $160-200 and it's NOT over because there's ALWAYS "one more drink" at the after-party and now you're spending $20-30 on drinks you don't even want because you're tired but everyone else is staying and you don't wanna be the one who leaves first. By the time you get home you've spent $200-260. AND FOR WHAT?? To stand in a crowded room, wait 45 minutes for the bathroom, and wake up at noon with a headache and regret? Your drunk ass dropped your phone in the toilette again while straddling the throne? No shade I love a night out but I also love not being broke and honestly I'd rather REMEMBER what I did last night thanks.
Now let's talk about mornings my sexy thrifters…

Waking up early doesn't require an outfit. You're in sweatpants. You were in those sweatpants when you passed out at 9:30pm like the functional adult you are. You roll out of bed, put on a sports bra and leggings — things you ALREADY own — and you walk outside. The sun is out. The birds are singing. It's 6am and the world is yours for $0. You want yoga? There's a free yoga session at Prospect Park every Saturday at 8am. No membership, no signup, just show up and touch your toes like the flexible baddie you are. You want to run? Free running group at Grand Army Plaza every weekend. You want to swim? NYC public pools all over the city for like $3. You want to just WALK?? Walking is free. The entire city is your gym and the membership costs absolutely nothing.

Here's the part that surprises people: morning people have social lives. We just have better social lives. We're out here at the Grand Army Plaza Farmers Market every Saturday morning getting fresher produce than you'd find at Whole Foods for half the price.

Instead of meeting at bars, we meet at farmers markets. We meet at the park for a picnic. We meet at coffee shops that open at 6am because they know who their regulars are. We take weekend trips that involve hiking in Central Park instead of clubbing at a venue with a $20 cover charge.

A farmers market date costs $15 maximum if you both get fresh squeezed orange juice and some pastries. A hike in Prospect Park is free. A coffee date at the spot on the corner is $6 per person. A picnic in the park with cheese from the grocery store is $12 and the best meal you'll have all week. We're out here saving hundreds of dollars a week while having better conversations in better settings with better lighting — the golden hour lighting that happens at 7am, not whatever lighting they have at the club.

Let's talk about what you actually get done as a morning person versus what you get done as a night person — it's not just about the money, it's about the OUTPUT.

When you wake up at 5am, by 9am you've already worked out, showered, eaten breakfast, answered emails, and possibly finished half of your to-do list. The night person is just waking up. They're checking their phone under the covers for 20 minutes pretending they're going to get up, but they won't. Not really. By noon, the morning person has accomplished more than the night person will all day. By 6pm, the morning person is done with work, has had dinner, and is either at the gym, hanging with friends who also have their life together, or watching a movie in bed like a functional adult with a bedtime. The night person is just starting to think about what to eat for dinner, and they'll probably order delivery because they can't be bothered to cook, which means another $25 gone.

This isn't about being better than anyone. It's about the economics of TIME. Morning people have more of it because they use it wisely. They don't spend half their day in a fog, scrolling their phone, pretending to be productive while actually just waiting for the sun to go down so they can justify going out. They're not lying in bed until noon on a Saturday pretending they're "resting." They're out here GETTING IT DONE while the rest of the world is still asleep.

You don't need a gym membership. You don't need expensive athleisure. You don't need a $200 running outfit or a $150 yoga mat from some wellness brand that's just going to sit in your closet next to the outfit you bought for that night out you can't afford. You need to set an alarm for 5am and actually get up. That's it. The rest follows.

Start tomorrow. Wake up. Go outside. Move your body in whatever way feels good — walk, run, stretch, do jumping jacks in your living room, I don't care. Buy a $4 coffee as your one and only expense. See how the other half lives — the half that's hot, productive, bank-account-positive, and in bed by 9pm like a senior citizen who's winning at life.

Get up. Get out. Get hot. Stay thrifty.